May 8, 2010

Getting back into the swing of things isn’t as easy as it seems

Posted in Musings, Uncategorized at 5:55 pm by Aduial of WrA

I ended up taking an unexpected break from WoW lately, bit more than a week, due to a death in my immediate family, and found myself online on my paladin last night (I’d been on my hunter off and on doing some of the children’s week stuff as a distraction but since that guild’s taking a pre-Cataclysm break there wasn’t much interaction). My plan originally was to check on my auctions, repost whatever was expired if anything, then knock out some Children’s Week stuff on her, but… Well. Surprise, surprise, there was a whopping 30 people online, a few of which made a point to sort of welcome me back in guild chat when they saw me log on (even though most of them were busy in ICC).

So I’m talking a bit and within a couple minutes, one of the guildies asked if there was a tank that wanted to do heroics and maybe a DPS, since that was all was needed in their group, and the person asking was also healing, and I’d ran with him before and he was decent enough… And I figured I could use the practice to get back into the swing of things, and what better way to practice than with guildies who’d understand? So like a fish who spotted an appetizing, wriggling worm, I took the bait.

The fifth DPS we grabbed had planned to tank had I not been willing, since that was his preferred and usual role, and I briefly considered letting him until I realized… Doh, my other spec is Holy. How is something so rare so… not-rare? And so the warrior stayed as DPS and I as tank, and we queued up, and it plunked us into Utgarde Pinnacle. Last time I’d been there on Mani, it’d been a breeze… Last time the guildy who was healing had healed me, it was a breeze. So I guess maybe I expected things to be a breeze again because of that but… Oh, wow did I need practice.

First pull goes okay, though I didn’t bother grabbing the abomination… Second pull, starts okay, then.. Out of nowhere, there’s the abomination off to the side of that group, and I feck up my first taunt, and it’s wailing away on the warrior, and I’m scrambling to remember which button is my other taunt, and… Well, finally I grab the abomination, but had lost aggro on another mob, which was wailing on the healer, and I feck up Hand of Reckoning again and my other taunt’s still on CD, so I run at it, end up with my back to the other three mobs which just wouldn’t die…

Thankfully our healer was good and we survived, because I sucked. And unfortunately, a lot of the pulls were that bad… or worse. I either knew what I was supposed to do but couldn’t hit the buttons well enough or I just plain blanked and my fingers failed. I hadn’t had so much trouble since I was in there on my warrior in less gear, who was shy of the def cap at the time, too. Healer kept everyone alive except for the warrior who died to Skadi’s whirlwind because he was somehow hamstringed and couldn’t get out of the way, at least, but… I don’t think I’d ever felt so horrible as a tank.

As soon as the last boss was out cold on the floor in a pool of his own, someone had mentioned the warrior was wanting to tank… I’m not sure if they were just trying to make sure he got a chance to do what he wanted to do as well, or if I really sucked that badly to them, or not, but if it was the latter, I can’t say I blamed them. I bowed out pretty quickly and kind of sat in Silvermoon replaying the fights over in my head… I knew exactly where I screwed up, when, what I should have done better… Even when at the time I’d known, I just couldn’t do it. By the time they were asking in guild for either a healer or DPS, I’d decided it best if I just got off Mani and switched over to my DK.

Things were easier on her, though I didn’t dungeon, just quested a bit, even single-handedly took back the towers in Zangarmarsh, but things still didn’t feel quite… right. Maybe my failure on Mani was still weighing a bit too heavily on my mind, maybe I was just trying too soon, I dunno. So many possibilities, but I got about 10% of a level on her and just opted to log off WoW in favor of reading a few things that’ve been lingering around in my browser for a while.

Can’t say if I’ll be any better tonight but I intend to try, though I’m wary of pushing myself too much for the sake of my ‘responsibilities’… Magey-friend finally got an ICC10 raid of his own to lead and is wanting me to be one of the core members, and I know that’s weighing heavily on my mind, as well as my paladin’s utter lack of gear for something like that. He’s ambitious as always which has always been good, but that means if I let myself I’ll burn myself out again to try to help, and I’m still trying my best to prevent doing that again. However I’m starting to wonder if my steps back to prevent that are instead keeping me from enjoying WoW much at all anymore…

I have to wonder, how much responsibility in a game is actually… healthy? Too many responsibilities that keep you on the game too much can easily lead to burn out or having no life away from the game, at least from my experience, but I’ve been getting rid of them in my attempts to step back, which seems to have removed a lot of the things keeping me in the game anymore. I assume some sort of balance could work best, but.. What is that balance, and is it different for everyone? Where is that fine line between not enough responsibilities to care, and so many there’s no offline time?


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